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Oh deer!

by Wysocki
(Western New York)

I have been in 4 car-deer accidents. No people were injured fortunately.

1. I had pink eye in both eyes. My sister drove my car for me. The deeeeeeeeeeer ran up a hill to the highway, jumped the guardrail, and landed right in my lap!

2. I was driving myself to work one chilly morning in the fall. I actually saw the little guy coming, so I slowed to a safe stop. This deer continued on his path, tried to clear my car by jumping over it, but rather, just landed on my hood, dented it and scraped it with his hooves.

3. After helping my boyfriend move, we were heading back to my apartment to finally rest. It was the last day of September, I believe, and the day was very nice (he was moving to be closer to where I live). He gave me a special ring to mark our milestone.

As I sat in the passenger seat, I used a flashlight to look at the ring when it got dark out. I turned it off and noticed that we were driving over hundreds of tiny frogs! Yuck! I could see them and I could hear them popping all along the way...

My boyfriend's getting on in years, so to speak, so I don't think he could see or hear the lil' froggies. I said, "Hey, watch out for all the frogs hopping across the road." In the same moment, a deer commited suicide on our car. We hit him once, knocked him clear into our path...then hit him again. Poor little guy.

4. With the same boyfriend, we hit a deer, again, last night. We trekked to a wedding about three hours away, and despite having a great time at the reception, bounced early so we could go home and go to bed.

We spent a while complaining about the people there who don't like us, and I was particularly negative. When the deer leaped into our path, the impact caused the airbags to deploy (sounds and smells like a gunshot!)

The car switched to neutral, the dome lights came on and our view was totally blocked by the smoke and airbags. I didn't know that when your hormonal system dumps all that adrenaline into your blood it makes you shake. I was quivering just like jell-o.

The car carried us to the next exit, damaged and lame, but not broken.

The next day, on the way to the collision shop we hit a deer again. Just kidding! I'll be walking, during the day, from now on.

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